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[ They're seriously like fifteen feet apart right now, or so she thinks, so Naomi just gets up now to open her door. She doesn't quite manage a smile for Prax as he approaches but nods politely, stepping aside to let him in. Her bed is neatly made and there's a project of some sort spread out on her desk, but she intentionally doesn't sit back at it, taking the bed instead to show that her focus is on him. ]

Is everything alright?

( prax returns her nod —and offers a smile that's a little twisted, a little nervous. he wipes his hands on his jumpsuit, standing in the middle of her room for a moment before he decides to sit down at the desk, turning the chair so he's facing her. hopefully that's all right. )

Everything's fine.

I was just —I remember more than Alex, and Bobbie Draper remembers more than I do. I was wondering what the last thing is that you remember before waking up here.

( honestly, the whole difference in memories still freaks him out, but he's trying not to focus on that. )

[ Y u p. Bobbie was sort of a given in Naomi's mind already, and though she's barely spoken to the other woman if Prax is asking now and saying Bobbie knows more than him, that pretty much confirms it. They both know. She takes a slow breath, squaring her shoulders for composure. ]

It's rather disturbing, isn't it? The discrepancies.

[ Stop stalling. Tilt your chin up. ]

We'd just destroyed the hybrid and gotten Jim stable in the med bay. I asked you boys to give us some privacy, and then... I told him the truth.

[ She forces her eyes to meet Prax's, and there's guilt there but no shame. She is sorry, but only for how she went about it. ]

He didn't take it well. I decided to give myself the night to brace for telling the rest of you, because I knew you wouldn't either. Then instead I woke up here. I found Amos and Alex, and with this situation how it is... I felt it was best they didn't know just yet. For everyone's sake. Back home, I was ready to face the consequences but here... we need each other too much. They'll just hate me, and we're stuck on this tin can.

I won't ask you to keep quiet for my sake, but if you're talking to me first I think you've come to the same conclusion I did.

( prax listens, nodding when she points out that it's disturbing because, yeah, it definitely is that. he wishes there were no discrepancies — but then, he also wishes none of them were here or at least that mei was here as well. he wishes a great many things were the case that aren't.

but that's not important right now. so he listens, watching her as she speaks. he's never doubted how genuine she is, how deeply she cares for the belt, but it's the division between inners and belters that meant prax had to watch his friend be killed. someone he could have imagined a future with, maybe, once he'd gotten over his grief.

he doesn't think the division is a good thing. they're all human, aren't they? but he also knows he's led a relatively sheltered life on ganymede, comparatively speaking. )

I hadn't. ( come to the same conclusion. it's an admission more than an argument. ) But I don't think it's my place to say.

( and now that she's laid it out like this —he gets it. he gets why she hasn't said anything. ) I think they deserve to know, but I ( he glances down, clears his throat. looks back at her again. ) I understand why you haven't told them, but I still think you should.

[ Interesting. He hadn't, and yet he'd stayed quiet so far? Because he didn't think it was his "place"? Naomi frowns a little, fingers curling into her bedding tensely. ]

I don't see why it wouldn't be. You may not have known them as long, but you still care. Of course they deserve to know. Maybe the time will never feel right here, and I should just get it over with even if they wouldn't trust me at all anymore. I did mean to explain, it's been... a weight. One that's only gotten worse in this place.

[ She tilts her head a little, expression losing its resolve. ]

Is unburdening one's soul worth being cast out? Worth their pain as well?

I care, but I'm — ( what is he? a guest on the rocinante. this seems to be a crew-internal matter and he's along for the ride, grateful that they're helping him find his daughter. grateful that holden has gotten over himself and his obsession with the hybrids to realise that what matters are people. grateful for amos who's been on his side the entire time. grateful for alex who's been going along with it.

not so grateful to naomi for wanting to go to tycho instead of io, though he understands that, too. why should she risk her life for his daughter? but then, she doesn't remember that, does she? it's confusing and it's terrible. )

More of a guest. ( he settles on, after a moment. )

How much worse will it be if they find out you've been keeping this from them all this time?

( that's not a thread, but —secrets have a way of biting you in the butt when you least want them to, don't they? )

A guest...?

[ Interesting. It's probably true -- Prax really isn't suited for work on a ship, and everyone's expecting that once he finds Mei he'll resettle. But still, she wouldn't have called him a guest. She would have called him a friend, even if he doesn't think much of her specifically. He's a friend to the others. ]

...it'll be worse. But I think it'll be bad enough to start with that time here is a drop of water in an already full pail.

[ She's already expecting the worst, to never be forgiven. Kicked off the ship at the first opportunity and probably never spoken to again by any of them. Not for a long time if ever. Amos especially... well. ]

It just seems crueler to tell them now, when we're stuck together.

( he doesn't think holden considers him a friend. holden used him and now he feels guilty about that. prax doesn't blame him for either of those things, not really, but he doesn't think they're friends. alex —he hadn't really talked to alex a lot, back on the roci. now, here, he considers him a friend. naomi was against going to io, and he can't blame her for that, either, but he doesn't have to like it.

it leaves amos. amos is the one that prax would, without hesitation, call a friend. )

You're probably right about that.

( he gives a slow nod, acceptance. )

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