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[ He sort of shrinks, his eyes sliding away. His breast pocket feels very heavy, suddenly, the ring and the photograph weighing it down.

He knew the answer to that question, and it made him feel like the world's biggest asshole, and a monster. But he knew. He just had been working incredibly hard not to admit it to himself. ]

I know where I belong, Naomi. [ He said it quietly, half mumbled. ]

And it ain't there.

[ That's it, then, isn't it? But he didn't answer the question... Naomi reaches out to tilt his face back up towards her with a gentle grip on his chin. ]

And what are you willing to do about that? Guilt yourself out in deep space for the rest of your life, or man up and tell her it's over so you can both move on?

[ He met her eyes for maybe a total of three seconds, before they slid away again and he pulled back a little out of her grasp. ]

You know it ain't that easy, Naomi.

It ain't just Talissa, is it?

The two things have nothing to do with one another. You don't have to be married to be a parent, and maybe if you resolved things you might actually be willing to go back once in awhile.

Even if I wanted to go back, it ain't actually something I can do, can I?

Just how well do you think Mars is gonna take me strollin' up to the doorstep with the Roci? All she's gotta do is keep Melas on Mars, and I ain't gonna see him. The two are pretty damn connected.

[ But he sounds more miserable, than mad, and his eyes drop to the floor. ]

And I did reach out. I mean. I think I did. In the future. Gunny told me that she'd never seen me with a ring, and the only way I'd've taken it off... [ He trailed off, miserably. ]

Alex, you're talking yourself in circles. If you really think you can never go back, then what's the point in staying married on paper anyway? You wouldn't try to take him away, I'm sure.

[ That's an interesting development, though, that Alex took his ring off at some point. He must have called home, yeah. ]

...good for you, then. For calling, for finally settling it. But now I really don't understand why you're holding on to something that's been over for years, it's like you're just denying yourself good something on purpose.

[ He fidgeted, thumb dragging against his ring finger where the ring no longer lay. It was just burning a hole in his breast pocket instead. ]

I thought - Hell, Naomi, it just ain't that simple. I kept hopin' that maybe I'd just - I'd just be someone else, you know? That I'd change, and that I'd be able to go back, and--

[ He sighed. ]

But I just didn't know better. Until you guys. Until the Roci. You're my family, and I ain't exactly keen on losin' that, either. I found where I'm supposed to be. I am happy. Was. Was happy.

This place don't exactly make that easy. And tryin' to pull in - to pull in whatever the hell is goin' on in my head -- [ In his heart-- ] -- isn't about to help the situation, is it?

I just wanna figure it out so I don't keep messin' it the hell up.

Well stop that. There's nothing wrong with you that needs to be changed, alright?

It's not a personal failing that this specific relationship, this situation, didn't work out. You tried it on and there's nothing wrong with saying it didn't fit. If you want to be a father to your son you can still do that -- hell, you'll probably do much better if you're not under the pressure to be there, or scared to face his mother. Just. I think you're hung up on the wrong things, here.

[ But she's not a Martian, and she knows there's that societal sense of duty instilled in them. The stuff about the crew and the station makes more sense to her, at least. It's just that when he says they're family, her own guilt stabs sharp and deep. She takes a slow breath. ]

That's all any of us are doing, Alex. Trying to figure out how to not mess up. But I think we should take whatever happiness we can find while we're in this mess, even if it's complicated. Take your time, get your head on straight, but don't push shit away because it's not helpful to the situation.

If it'd make you guys happy, even just a little, it's helpful to you. That matters.

I don't think it'd make her happy at all, [ He admits. He couldn't answer to the parts about Talissa or Melas because he just couldn't agree. Couldn't lift that guilt off himself. So he focused on the parts he could discuss. ]

And I can't really blame her. It ain't about pushin' anythin' away, Naomi, that kinda implies there's somethin' to push. I just -

I just wanted to be sure that it wasn't just my head jumblin' things up and not letting me in on the why.

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